It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize