She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
