community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
