So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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