WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
