They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
