you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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