I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My vagina just recognized that song.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
