I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
