She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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