Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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