I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
