I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
