I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
