I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
