Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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