Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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