I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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