That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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