Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
