I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
