I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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