i would punch a child for taco bell
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
