just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
