I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
