He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
