NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
