I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
