You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
