I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
