between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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