I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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