I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
