You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
