did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
