mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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