I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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