did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
