I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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