No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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