He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
