hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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