There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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