worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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