she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
wow bdsm is so cute
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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