how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize