Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
