I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
