YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
