TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
