Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
