i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
