I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
