Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
