the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
