i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
