i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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