Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
