There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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