OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
