why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
