he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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