Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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