it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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