no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
