Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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