yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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