i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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