I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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