omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Houston, we have a squirter
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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