I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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