margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
