Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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