White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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